So there I was listening to one of my favorite performing artist CD’s, one I just picked up not to long ago, relaxing in the beauty of his music, contemplating our next step in our journey of life. Then these lyrics play across the stereo and echo through my soul.

“Here you are at this place in this time, Crossing this river to your future, There’s no looking back anymore, Cause you know you’ve been there before, Things are different now, Things are different now”

And another verse in the lyrics expressed even more and solidified to me that we are doing what we need to be doing!

“Dreams are clearer all is so different now”

People who’ve been following this blog know how exhausted I had become from the chaos that seemed to take over my life. Although I am still picking up the pieces and putting everything back together it seems to have lightened it’s heavy load.

With that I feel like we are at a crossroad, a broken bridge and in order to release the past and move forward into the future of our lives change must happen. Like the words resonate…there is no looking back anymore. Been there, done that over and over and end up right back at the crossing point.

I just wrote about this in the post directly before this one…to hear these lyrics after cracking open this new CD, I knew and know that this is an answer, a sign whatever you wanna call it.

How awesome is that!

People seek answers from the Creator all the time…not always listening to everything, with everything…an answer can come in hearing, seeing, feeling…it can be as simple as in the words of others…

So stop, listen with everything you are…move forward!

After a long, torturous chaotic year, it seems we have arrived at this bridge. It’s that bridge that challenges ever bit of who you are, pushing your fears to the limit. This is the time where you give up or push forward. I have arrived here so many times and turned back because the risk seemed to much and dragged my husband back with me.

I am sick and tired of being sick an tired. Being a comfort hog I always opt to stay right were I am…who the hell would be comfortable blanketed in turmoil and hurt more often than not? It sounds ridiculous don’t it? That’s been me for far too many years.

So many people who have inspired me because of there strength have crossed more than one broken bridge and have succeeded. They have grown, they are better for each trek they embark upon. I was unable to see that the tiny creeks I jumped across weren’t enough, I have to cross a broken bridge or more in my life to really move on!

So screw my fears, I am going to follow his lead and cross that broken bridge.

Should I hit send, it’s written, it is written…but I fear.

I felt compelled and for a moment felt an empowerment over the words I let spill from locked doors of my memory. Knowing I have endured, overcome and broke cycles should allow me to share this…it could be healing for more than just my poor soul but I sit…looking at the send button…and I fear.

These are scars, no longer open wounds…we moved forward to heal my mother and I…

The story needs to be shared…it needs to be heard for me, for them and for those who survived through worse but….

I fear I will never hit send…………………………

Frequently I pass by signs, almost daily I notice one that simply makes absolutely no sense at all or are so utterly rediculous it’s mind blowing! Every once in a while there is that not so creative sign that just pops out at you. Today I noticed a sign at the old age home on the main strip…

“Smiles are contagious, catch one and spread it around”

I thought it profound and absolutely appropraite for the times. I started counting people smiling today…sadly there wasn’t many including myself for the better part of it, except when we drove down to the lake front and saw a ton of deer. One buck (noticed two little mounds atop his head where is rack will grow in) hoping around like a mad man playing with the others, it was a wonderful treat. I smiled ear from ear thinking how lucky was I for seeing this.

Then upon going to the laundromat I decided I would smile at everyone…you know what they all smiled back…it works! SOOOO…….

“Smiles are contagious, catch one and spread it around”

It’s all in or not at all at this point. When I came back online I wanted to do the natural thing and I still do. I had a fantastic idea but something was ultimately missing and the idea collected dust, until this last week.

I signed up with Mineralicious a natural mineral makeup company. As I am attending my training, printing out all the paperwork they have to offer and wait on my kit, I started planning what I need. I need to make business cards, order all colors of foundation and make my color swatches (will post what this is and how to do it when I finish), get a good amount of random eyeshadow shades to put on my flesh tone board. Then a really green hostess incentive gift. Hmmm, could give away a few samples….nah don’t hold enough excitement…stuck there just racking the brain….then it hit me ding ding ding, I’ve got it!

It sparked my old idea and filled in the gap and that’s all I can say at this point. Once I achieve enough product I will launch and everyone will know. Hubby said “It is now or never baby, you come up with great idea’s and never take the next step, do it this time…” More was said but it would give it away and I want it to be a surprise!

It’s not everyday you can can catch a glimpse of the ignorance of a person for the sheer purpose of empowerment. On what authority do you have to treat people like vile vomit? Talking down to people, completely degrade and pummel a person to feel worse than a pile a shit, especially a man you dear to say you love, I am sorry sickened, it just seems ludicrous.

I duck behind this mask, the one with a constant smile, hiding my ice cold stare of disbelief and anger. I wear it for my amazing man, who shares a great friendship with her awesome husband. I don’t want to do anymore! I found myself  actually standing up to her, which I know is not my place, but I was unable to stop. She started degrading him right in front of an entire house of people, I mean come on, about nothing, just to do it! I walked up to her, opening and closing my fingers and loudly proclaiming, “BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH, shut up!”

In all honesty, I wasn’t going to stand there and listen to her laugh as she verbally assaulted this man. Mind you, she had already attacked my husbands manhood shortly before, right to my face. Her so called friends chuckled profusely with her antics, finding some kind sick humor in her barrage insults firing from her mouth.

I am relieved I hadn’t visited on the days my husband has, where even he was in awe of the things she does and says. Most memorable & certainly very disturbing, when she told there only son, then 6, “Go and kick your daddy the way I showed you”. My husband bluntly asked “And how’s that?” Her answer, “In the nuts!” I don’t need to share the rest of that exchange, think that is quite enough to get the scope of it all horror of the situation.

I stopped and thought about women who would be so thankful to have a man who is willing to bust his ass to take care of the entire family, work without sleep more often than not (allowing you to get some sleep as you work the same shift), bending over backwards to make them happy, who is not abusive, who loves them fully!

It’s unbelievable how cruel people can become! She has always been a bit rough around the edges and I liked her then. She has ultimately enlisted the support of others to continue down this path of destruction, destroying everything in her path except those who rally behind her on in her belittling one sided war to reach power over all who she knows. Eventually they will become a target too.

Pray for her…

Our good friend who dines at Hooters, like most of us do at Micky D’s, was quite perturbed hearing about two men applying at his favorite restaurant. He felt that men should not be allowed to work in an establishment meant to employ women. I was so annoyed by his ignorance of the situation I had to share with some of my female friends. Sadly, they concur that men should not work certain jobs meant for women. That perplexed me, “Why the hell not?” I applaud these two men for applying, as I have applauded many women for seeking jobs they could do as exceptional as men!

Many of my girl friends are self respecting feminist and are incredible woman. With an occasional heated debate involving feminist issues, as I am far from a feminist, we adore each other (two of these women are my closest friends in the world).

AND No, just for the record, I do not live to serve a man, nor do I feel subservient to any either! I am who I am and feel no need to exalt one sex over the other, period!

So why don’t I get on with this story of the Hooter’s men. I for one think they should be able to apply and be hired, they have just as much right to work there as anyone does. Women work now in fields that were only MANed positions. I seems hypocritical to me to complain about men applying to work in positions women have and still do occupy in larger numbers, when women have been, with numbers increasing working in fields dominated by men.

In my honest opinion, once you start complaining about men working in predominant women’s positions, you have defeated your purpose to be seen as an EQUAL.

Our path on this earth inevitably ends with death, with us walking on into the spirit world, saying hello once again to those who went on before us. I believe this and embrace it with every ounce of my being. However, as pleasant as it sounds and how comforting those thoughts should be, when someone passes away and walks on, the pain of them no longer being here on earth renders me weak and deeply saddened.

My childhood best friend’s father past away this week and tomorrow is his viewing. There memories I choose to keep with me about him. First was his smile, it was a smile that brightened his entire face…the kind the lights up the eye’s…the one that for no other reason than just because he is smiling makes you crack a grin. The jolly laugh, oh when he was tickled by something the laugh radiated through every room in the house and if in your presence would get you chuckling right along with him. Then there was the food, it never mattered if you were hungry or not, when you stepped foot into his home, he stopped short of feeding you to get you to eat something…the food was always fantastic…cross between Deli and a Polish restaurant, you’d never go hungry visiting that house!

Unfortunately, some years ago he had a surgery and he didn’t respond well and ever since slowly had gotten worse health wise, until this week at home in bed with his family with him.

I received a text night before last, my good friend and I don’t stay in touch a lot because our lives are so different now, so I am on the texting list instead of call list I gather. (not mad at all just to clarify,  just not fond of receiving this kind of news via text, email etc.)

Tomorrow I bid a fond farewell to someone I used to call Dad, I will miss him…

…Until We Meet Again, Tom I will miss you!

Do you put much weight on the personality that exudes from your business website or blog? If you do, how much? If you don’t, should you?

Some of my best experiences have been reading blogs that express a real personality, right along side offering me the information I am seeking. Grab my attention with  a bit of personality(catchy content and handsome looking design), then keep me reading and interested with good information!

Starting off my initial suggestion is ward against really dry, snooze worthy reference style writing. Writing for business purposes does not have to be like a reference book, with no feeling what so ever, followed by a ton of links to sources. If I find myself reading stuff like this, I often get through maybe a quarter of the first paragraph, yawn and find another site.

When I find myself engulfed in a really great site, two enormous factors have kept me there. First is imagery, no, not like in a fiction book or personal non-fiction writing, but actual informative writing. For example, The Winnie the Pooh Guide to Blogging by CopyBlogger.com, which by the way is a really informative site, uses just the right amount amazing imagery to keep me reading and learning! Which leads me right into the second factor, linking to recommendations and/or examples.

May I suggest testimonials? They are a wonderful addition to the authenticity of your business and you. What people say about you and what you offer certainly is a testament to your businesses personality.

What does your about or bio page say? Do you even have one? One of the first pages on my mind after reading a really great post, content or article, is finding an about page. Now that you have captivated me with your writing, it’s time to find out who you are.  Does your about page match up to what I just enjoyed? Does it capture you as the person behind the website? It should.

If your business lacks personality, it should get one!

At the moment it seems the chaos has paused, it almost seems as if time is standing still. I won’t commit to the statement that the chaos has disappeared, it’s to soon to know if this is a leg up or just another calm in this turbulent storm. Of course I hope and I pray that now as spring is approaching so are better times!

I have concluded that positive thinking doesn’t stop the shit from hitting the fan or the array of emotions that come with being knocked down time after time, but those thoughts do help you return to the standing position each and every time.

When there is a pause, feelings of eminent danger lurking around the corner are quite normal. Hell, it’s almost discomforting to think things will get better, in fear of being totally and utterly let down. Becoming accustom to being kicked while your down almost disables you to see it ever getting better. Knowing it does isn’t always the flattering cushion you need to rise over it all.

Although, I never gave it a chance to completely give me the KO punch, it was wearing me thin and I frankly was becoming exhausted just trying to keep myself from falling down. Reminds me of Rocky B’s first movie, he just kept getting knocked down, although weakened and beaten down, no matter how much the struggle, got back to his feet and finished that fight! As in the movie, never giving up keeps you going.

Baby steps is what I need, more time to see the calm on the waters, less fear! But as it stands the PAUSE…..

is exactly what I need in this moment, at this time and embrace it as long as it is willing to last!